Pastors, Forget About Paychecks

I got punched in the gut once at a pastor’s prayer meeting. Not my real gut, but the gut of my soul, if you know what I mean. I regularly go to these things, monthly prayer meetings for pastors and ministry leaders, not because I always love it, but because I think it's important. Almost two years ago, I had just finished being an interim pastor for a small church. I was no longer getting paid to be a pastor, and heading into the meeting, I was feeling vulnerable. The first question always asked, of course, is "what church are you at?" My answer was now not simple. I wasn't "at a church." I wasn't getting paid. The 100 business cards that I still had left from my box of 200 were now useless. I took some consolation in being able to say that I was working on my Ph.D. full time, but, still. So I walked down into the church basement feeling about the same as I did walking into the gym at my first junior high dance. Then I got punched in the gut. It was already known that I wasn't "at a church," that I was out of work. And the first pastor I saw smiled, and made a lame joke: "Hey, this meeting is for pastors."Sucker punch in the soul.First of all, lame. Second, not really funny. Third, not at all true.Because I am a pastor regardless of whether or not I have a paycheck, regardless of whether or not I have a business card, or an office, or am "at a church."Almost two years have passed since that meeting. I used that time to finish my Ph.D. in theology. And I have never been more sure of my calling to be a pastor, precisely because I have not had a paycheck, and yet have continued the work of ministry. My family has hosted church at my house regularly (lots of wine, good food, awesome music, a sermon from me, Christians, and non-Christians packed into our family room sitting on the floor). Pastoral care has been with my neighbors, sitting on my front porch with beers in our hands. Pastoral leadership has been with other pastors, meeting their needs, counseling them, digging into challenging theology with them. I have gotten paid for none of it, but even lame-joke-guy would have to say, yes, you are a pastor. One of the best ways to figure out what you are called to do is what you do when you are no longer being paid. I hope to be back in "vocational" ministry soon. I'd like a paycheck, and some new business cards, and an office. But more than ever, I will be sure about how unimportant those things are. Who I am is who God made me to be, and has nothing to do with titles and dollars and where I am on an org chart.

And God gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for the building up of the body of Christ. – Ephesians 4.11

Nothing in there about paychecks. Guess I can be a pastor without one.